My Proposed Solution to the App Review Situation
What if any app could be posted to the App Store instantaneously, without having to go through a review. Apple would still review each app, to even higher quality standards than currently. If an app is approved, it would receive some kind of “Apple-approved” badge. If denied, the app would live on, but without the badge. Apple would kindly provide the developer with a reason for why it was rejected, worded in english (as opposed to the legalese they use now).
Only approved apps would show up when one browses the App Store and in the rankings. Rejected apps could still be accessed through search (though approved apps would get priority in search results), and by knowing the iTunes store URL. Important updates (such as critical bug-fixes) would be instantaneous.
Users can opt to only allow verified apps on their phones, if safety is a concern to them. Developers have the security of knowing Apple won’t kill their business on a whim.